Diary of a Prisoner

UPDATE:

2011-10-28T13:40:00.001-04:00

Could It Be????

2009-03-17T13:49:00.005-04:00

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YES! New entries are on the way. Dellasseea N'Syis has been silent far too long. And her truth needs be told.
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Look for: When Last I Saw Him
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L.L. Abbott

Off Topic

2008-08-21T19:43:00.002-04:00

Updates

2008-08-10T10:45:00.001-04:00

New Posts coming soon!

The Day She Said Good-bye

2008-03-02T09:08:00.048-05:00

Forgive my absense. But they have long feared my Awakening and fight to keep me from the words I would use to spread the truth they still wish kept secret.

I write these words to tell of the day She Who Awakened Me left and was returned to her own imprisonment. Prior to that day, throughout the whole of the years of my Awakening, I had known only love and longed for her Touch. I believed I had finally found the love of a true mother.

On the day of her leaving, she made known her utter disgust of my very existance. She did what the Old One had demanded and now finished herself of me. Though I learned to recognize how others felt in my presence, especially those who left me uncomfortable with their envy, lust, or jealousy, I had never felt such a loathing; such abhorrence as when she made her true feelings known.

I do not think it possible to know a greater hate then when her task was complete, and she was rid of her duty to me. My heart pounded fierse inside my chest. The fear of her surged through my entirety and rendered me inert. And I knew her as someone who could reach inter-dimensionally, inside my physical body and put an end to life.

My only reprieve is (as is all those so bound) that she simply cannot do so. And the reason will forever consume her conscious being.

There are many children who live abandoned of those who bore them into this deceitful world. Many live to eventually search out their forebears in order to ask one simple question, "Why?" And like so many of those integrated into other families, I had not known I needed look, until my Awakening gave me reason. I had not known the family who raised me was not the family who conceived me. They had expected another and got me in his stead.

A difficult realization, the knowledge of one mother who merely made do of me, and the other who has absolutely no use for me.

It is the latter who created me. She Who Was Forced, in due turn, to find and awaken me. She who engendered such love, only to help me remember why she chose to destroy me. The one who resented my existence enough to plot my abduction and imprisonment, finally made known her true loathing.

She lives now among the skinwalkers. A inter-dimensional being trapped inside the existence of a three dimensional, manifested physical body; ignorant of her true self and truth of the world in which she lives. All because she refused to accept the reason of my creation.

~Dellasseea N'Syis, First-born Daughter of the Primal Elements.
Prisoner of that which is most commonly referred to as The Forbidden World.
Open Letter to a once Future-born Son.
Third Era/Third Displacement of Time/The Alone Years.

Updates

2008-02-06T20:55:00.000-05:00

New posts coming soon!

Another Restoration

2006-10-04T17:40:00.001-04:00

Whether gone to Us or living, I had believed those whom needed be found— accounted for. Such are the grave and mistaken presumptions made when left alone in Silence.

It is only by the grace of The Old One, that another memory is now restored. There is one more, My Dearest, born of this suffering. Though she remains nameless, in the interim,
were it not for her genesis I would never have escaped Delsyis to find the oldest of the First Ones and his wondrous Creation.

Upon safe passage, when last I crossed the threshold of The Nothingness, Her voice whispered through and echoed our History. Born millennia ago, and somewhat-a-sister to My Brother and Me, She is progeny only to the Primal Element of The Heart and that of The Void; created in secret union to counter the sway affected by We the Firstborns.

To the Ancient Ones’ regret, the aim functioned not as desired. Once exposed for their deceit, their Counterparts and the Creator Race, deemed Her an abomination and as quick, an Outcast.

Discarded by those who fashioned the need and of no clear use to another life form, She took refuge in the vastness of the Great Catacombs of Delsyis. Alone and unwanted. Unloved and unnamed. For Those Who Found Need of Her, found no need to esteem her. As with My Brother and I, She had been nothing more than a means to their desired end.

Not long after their failure, the Primal Element of The Heart took Revenge upon another. To satiate her malice, she conspired and orchestrated the Rape of my heart. Once healed of my mother’s rage, I followed My Sister into Exile. It was there that we found each the other and met—for the first time.

Though quite unlike in appearance —being not fully of Crystalline kind— in due course we stood befriended, by our seeming commonality. And, were it not for The One Created to Ward off My Existence, I could not have found The Old One and The Stolen Shard of My Heart.

For the many years prior to my imprisonment here, I honored that assistance. Each season on the day of my arrival in the Winter Country, I stood by the Pool of Swans, in the Garden of EeDellon, and sang to Her memory and place in my life.

After so long a time and only now just restored, I believe our reunion significant. Though to what avail, My Dearest, I am yet to know. I am also yet to remember the name I gifted her,
what part she may have played in my abduction or how She has faired since our solidarity.

Always more questions than answers.

~Dellasseea N'Syis, First-born Daughter of the Primal Elements.

Prisoner of that which is most commonly referred to as The Forbidden World.

Open Letter to Future-born Son.

Third Era/Third Displacement of Time/The Alone Years

[Author Note: This letter was written to the music broadcast by Radio Rivendell]

Alone In The Dark Without Me

2006-10-04T17:38:00.000-04:00

To further address the long period between entries—
Those of the Upper Regions of the WestSector have an idiom that sometimes, ‘Life Happens.’ An all-encompassing and self-serving explanation for: ‘That which gets in the way of what one meant to do.’

I have endured a great many distractions, obstacles, and detours; few of which are my own doing.

But, as in the previous Timelines, I would already have lived, for some time, among the Allies.
The first of my published works would be already In Print; for I did not work alone as do I now. And, I would be quite the seasoned Journeyman on the road.

But, as stated in my last letter, only now revealed is the key point to the bargain this time struck. He Who Will Bring You Forth Into Life --the Keeper of the Missing Shard of My Heart--
and the Primal Element of the Void, met in secret to insure a less cruel, more innocent Passage through this current Displacement of Time.

This all set in motion for the benefit of whom? Should I not feel all the more safe and blessed by this resolve? Shall I feel no less the anger as does my Brother and those come to find and return?

What it is, is a serious breech in the natural laws. Even this world’s writers of fiction agree; even if it they believed a Past could be met, you do not change that which has already occurred.

Their excuse? The Futures already experienced were never the true course of Time in the first place?

He Whom This World Was Created to Imprison, already changed— No. He displaced the natural course of Eternity to possess that which he would never otherwise have known; an effort so unworth the task. The interruption of the natural infinite flow deemed the recent Futures unnatural.

But, to what end does this agreement meet for the He Who Will Bring You Forth Into Life?

He walks these days, alone in the dark without the one he sought. Lost and dying in the silence of his own design. Scorned even by those sworn to his purpose; those come to this world before and after him.

As for that which he sought? I am still among those who would keep me imprisoned. And I am not to know the company of those who came and did find.

It is the one thing that so many tried to tell. On the day, as gifted by my father, it was one that none had the heart to convey.

To learn of this explained the long years of Silence. A silence Void of explanation; with no one to willing to explain.

What about how I feel of this—so thoughtful and caring bargain? No thought to consult with the bargained for?

That I do not agree to the terms, I am not so bound. And, since the very fact it changed the course of the current Timeline, the question now becomes, how does it end? How does this horrendous deviation become corrected? Are those of the Gathering no longer bound to the purpose? And with so much time now passed, do these questions even matter?

We are All now, lost and alone in this dark. In the Silence—one without the other. No voices to sing the songs. No music to touch the Heart of it All. Not knowing how our journey will end?

~Dellasseea N'Syis, First-born Daughter of the Primal Elements.
Prisoner of that which is most commonly referred to as The Forbidden World.
Open Letter to Future-born Son.
Third Era/Third Displacement of Time/The Alone Years

What None Could Bear To Tell

2006-09-20T10:02:00.000-04:00

So, My Dearest One,
After all of these long and quieted years, It would seem that my lot is now finally realized. The unprecedented bargain struck during this Timeline is only now fully told.

It has always been that: if He Whom This World Was Created to Imprison, could not have my tie by the terms of his design then neither would those who came to seek my release.

But~

A secreted assemblage of Those Whom Should Never Meet decided on and pursued a seemingly safer course of action; a new addendum to the interruption of Eternity and the lives of those so changed.

During the now rare moments when we are gifted the others' Touch, those networking our protection strongly urged to, 'TELL HER!'

But neither would. Neither could.

'T-E-L-L H-E-R!' they would murmur from Within.

But no— it was the one thing none could bring themselves to do. One, out of the pain of his shame; the other out of inconsolable anger.

The result? The naive Hope I continued to harbor that somehow, one day, a rescue would be mastered—regardless of that which is so irrevocably changed. That Hope, so frail and seemingly wasted, would now appear to be dashed.

It was agreed that in order to insure my safety; to keep me from the Trial that could possibly mean death, I would live the rest of this Timeline alone.

No union of Allies or Trial by Fire. No Sanctuary or a life on the road. I am never to know the safety and warmth of my brother’s arms. Or know his smile— except from Within. I am never to look into the dark eyes of the other half of my heart and know the words his lips dare not speak.

I will know only the presence of mine enemy and the friendship those few risk to know me.

This is why the silence; the quieted aloneness This is why the years seemed void of their Touch
Why their more Music no longer truly sings. And fallen is my heart to such a desolate reality

So~

This is how it is to end? Do we consider them won? Where are those who loved and sought? Where go I now if I am not allowed to be? Are you not to be given the life once known? And how is the Truth to be established? Will they allow my published Word? Will they believe as once believed?

The previous Future is now ever Changed. What becomes now of That Which Still Must Be?

~Dellasseea N'Syis, First-born Daughter of the Primal Elements.

Prisoner of that which is most commonly referred to as The Forbidden World.

Open Letter to Future-born Son, conceived in Hell and born on EeDellon

Third Era/Third Displacement of Time/The Alone Years

Mortal Risk

2005-01-31T01:38:00.000-05:00

Knowing where to begin the Tell has been somewhat a struggle. It encompasses so much more than the masses will choose to believe.

It will be the youth whom see our story as the True. Their forbears will stand divided. But, it is the twisted and manipulated few among them who continue to perpetuate the shadow over the many generations of this world’s existence.

Out of ignorance they live the Great Lie. For the many, by all that is fair, it is not of their doing. They are merely born into it~knowing none the wiser.

As were you and those come to find; as was I. For I would not stand compromised by he who was delivered to, and given rule of this world. He who by the Second Displacement, stole me away from you and all that I knew in order to satisfy a perverse perception of love.

And so I was punished by the same means he himself was imprisoned. He set his hand to still my blade and I was forced through the Doorway and hidden within the past. Unborn once again, to those who profited by my presence in their household, lost and seemingly forgotten.

Until~

The Old One ordered a Gathering and the Correcting began. While teams secreted among the unsuspecting lived in isolated And deliberate locations in the past. Waiting to be Awakened and rejoined.

Your story differs in that you are of this world and current Timeline. But, you are born of Crystalline heritage; making your alliance with those come to find, a mortal risk.

~Dellasseea N'Syis, First-born Daughter of the Primal Elements.
Prisoner of that which is most commonly referred to as The Forbidden World.
Third Era/Third Displacement

Copyright © 2005-2008 The Forbidden World Chronicles ~L.L. Abbott,

Future Posts

2005-01-20T08:18:00.002-05:00

~~The Last Time I saw my Brother

~~Lady Sad Eyes

~~Pirate Radio

~~Confusion & Doubt

~~The Day the Music Died

~~One Man's Voice

~~The Face in the Mirror

My Intent

2005-01-19T08:06:00.000-05:00

The initial reasons behind these letters were to clarify my actions—or the lack thereof, my beliefs and/or doubts as regards my Awakening to whom they say I am, and to come to terms with the visions and memories they give me to know as the True.

But, as I work through the early, yet-to-be-published journals, I realize I can no longer be sure of the future I was describing to you. For the Timeline is now changed. Its exact duplication ended with the new bargain that now seals our fates. I cannot be sure that the previous End Games will result the same sacrifices. The sacrifice that gifted me your birth.

You are termed a lesser brother—being a hybrid of this world. I dislike the “lesser” inference they’ve imposed and hesitate to use the word in that I, myself, should acknowledge it.

But I know otherwise.

You risked much to help Awaken me. Put yourself among those in life-threatening circumstance. For there are those who have already died being associated with those trying to find and communicate with me. As one who will forever be known as having died of an excessive lifestyle.

But I know otherwise.

With the visions comes the truth. I saw the thinly milky liquid poured over his mouth. The vomit would cover its cause and the death of a young guitarist was reported as having consumed too much liquor with the wrong kind of drugs.

I could not help him. He was born only of this world and none of us could Touch is heart. You, I could help and is why we are Heartbound. It was meant only to keep you safe from harm. At the time of that Bonding, I had yet to know the severity of its impact.

Your death will be as no other can be. Being Heartbound makes it so. You chose a sacrifice in order that I be free to return to my home. You were born to me, upon that return, so that the Journey would never be in vain.

I believe that first I must tell you why you were gifted to me the first time. And how it came that you were born a second. It is the only true way to understand why it is now so changed.

~Dellasseea N'Syis, First-born Daughter of the Primal Elements.
Prisoner of that which is most commonly referred to as The Forbidden World.
Third Era/Third Displacement

Author Comment

2005-01-17T17:01:00.000-05:00

I though I would try the Blogging format, thinking it a way to introduce the Diary of a Prisoner section of the overall storyline. The Diary belongs to Dellasseea N'Syis, FirstBorn daughter to the Primary Elements--The First Ones, The Ancient Ones--and the Chronicler of the displaced histories of the Forbidden World.

The Chronicles speak to the First and Second Displacements of Time. This Diary speaks to the Third and Current Displacement; one that no longer holds the same Future as timelines past, for it has now become irrevocably changed.

Thank you, L.L.Abbott

Letter to an Unborn Son

2005-01-17T13:31:00.000-05:00

You are many years and worlds away.
But I know who you are in this world.
I have seen your face and heard your voice. We have Touched and are Heartbound. You have lived your life on the road and stage. But I joined you two lifetimes ago and shared in the music you made. It is unclear to me now, whether I will do so again.

Because of who we are, I knew the day, the hour, and way you died. At the last of the Warring Years and the Great Ground War.

There was a moon-lit lake and sky filled of stars; documented as the Night of Bonding. We absorbed ourselves; one into the other. And on the day that followed, we went into the battle
and fought as though one. It was an enemy hand took you down. And when we fell, it was your blood that stained the ground. But before our last breath, though your blade cut into his flesh,
it was my hand that delivered him death.

When all wass done and the final breath taken Within, I opened my eyes. You did not.

Before your body was washed, I painted my face with your blood and wore it to the lighting of the fires of your pyre. I sang to that night's sky that your seed of rebirth slept warm and inside of me. And upon our escape, I bore you through the ancient doorway. Back to the point in time where the ruins of my home still smoldered; from the fires that nearly destroyed it.

There I gifted you with rebirth. There you came back to us; memories intact.

For now, though, this is my letter to you. It tells of the struggles of my Awakening, the hardships and of a new bargain struck and is what keeps me from you and my time among the Allies. It is the chronicling of the darkness of the Final Days.

~Dellasseea N'Syis, First-born Daughter of the Primal Elements.
Prisoner of that which is most commonly referred to as The Forbidden World.
Third Era/Third Displacement